Reaching out to busy parents

Reaching out to busy parents

Today’s busy parents have a lot on their plate, nurse, kids’ taxi service, teacher, playmate, the list of child related commitments and responsibilities is, quite rightly, a long one. Adding to the already congested timetable are the plethora of after school clubs and activities; swimming, gym, music lessons, brownies, football, the list is diverse and endless. To further squash an already tight schedule, the trend for modern schools to encourage parents to spend valuable family time helping their child through a mountain of homework eats into whatever free time there is left before bedtime. 

In this vortex of child centred activity and obligations it’s easy for parents to lose sight of their own goals and aspirations, a need to “park” their own ambitions until the children are older.  Of course, there are plenty of options out there but many take place in the evenings, or at weekends when free time is at a premium or nonexistent even if you do have the energy!

During this past year we have been approached by several mums who, through watching their children in our junior classes, have requested a weekday morning karate class.  Their argument is a good one, it's cheaper than a gym, more fun than running on your own, intellectually stimulating, and socially engaging. As a result we’ve decided to bite the bullet and start such a class aimed primarily at mums and dads, who are only free after the morning school run, but also open to anyone who is available to give it a go.

Many karate clubs, particularly the amateur ones, are not able to have sufficiently flexible instructors able to deliver tuition during the ordinary working day. It's an understandable position to be in, but also an unfortunate one because those clubs are not in a position to tap into a huge reservoir of potential new students.

I firmly believe that karate practice can improve lives, health and spiritual well being, so if you are a club that are lucky enough to offer that facility then you are most likely providing the only opportunity for those busy parents, or shift workers to be challenged physically, pushed mentally and achieve meaningful accomplishment.

Taking that first step can be hard

I look at the number staring back at me in a state of disbelief, the date is January 2^nd 2013 and my bathroom scales are telling me an uncomfortable truth. I’m sure many of you can relate to this feeling after a few weeks of festive excess, but to me this runs deeper than a few extra mince pies. In the preceding two years I’ve gone from an active, slender, fit man to a slovenly, overweight shadow of my former self due to a litany of health issues both physical and mental.

Time for another New Year weight loss initiative - like 2012’s ill-fated decision to join my local gym and pay for a year’s membership upfront, only to give up going in February. I’ve always thought it would be nice to learn a martial art and I loved the Jean-Claude Van Damme films of my childhood, yes that settles it, my fandom of a Belgian movie star has made the choice an easy one - martial arts it is. As for what martial art I decided upon Karate simply because it was the only martial art that I had heard of other than Judo.

Now that I had decided what I wanted to do the next step was finding somewhere to do it. I remember googling ‘Karate beginners lessons Bristol’ and looking through the top few results. Whilst reading through a few of the websites something catches my attention immediately – a short paragraph stating that none of the instructors get paid for teaching and volunteer their services for free. That, as I would come to discover in the coming years defines what Zenshin Dojo is all about – people helping people to better themselves simply because it’s the right thing to do. It sounds idealistic, but in a world too frequently dominated by selfish wants and needs it’s refreshing to come across a community whose ethos is about learning and helping others.

I can still remember the nerves before attempting to attend my first lesson. I say attempting because I never actually made it to my planned first lesson. I had difficulty finding the venue and arrived ten minutes late. This was followed by ten further minutes of sitting in my car procrastinating about whether it was too late to turn up for the lesson before driving home. At that stage of my life I was struggling terribly with anxiety to the point that some days I couldn’t even leave the house, I remember driving home convinced that my martial arts experience was over before it even began. The next day I receive a short e-mail from the founder of the club Rob enquiring as to why I had not attended the lesson. It’s a short message, but there’s an inherent warmness to the tone which convinces me to give it another go.

Sunday, January 20^th 2013 my first ever Karate lesson. It’s funny but I’ve attended hundreds of lessons since that first lesson, but I can remember the details of that first lesson more than any lesson I’ve attended since. To me the hardest part of learning Karate is the first time you step into the dojo, it’s that fear of stepping into the unknown particularly if you have no previous martial arts experience. As soon as I walk through the door the instructor Phil greets me, he has a friendly warmth to him that immediately puts me at ease. I’m introduced to the group and Lorraine(another of the instructors) takes me away from the main group to teach me Fudo Dachi(stance) and Gedan Barai(block). Throughout my first lesson I’m made to feel welcome and that’s something that has stuck with me nearly four years later - the way that new members are embraced and made to feel welcome.

To me one of my most vivid Karate memories is the first time I put my Gi(uniform) on, though I wear a t-shirt underneath it due to my embarrassment at my weight. There’s just something uniquely special about putting that Gi on for the first time.

While I’m enjoying learning Karate, I’m also struggling tremendously with my mental health. Along with anxiety I’ve also battled depression and at the time I was taking some quite powerful anti-depressants, which I’m sure contributed to my weight gain.

As the weeks and months pass not only do I lose some weight which was my primary goal, but I also begin to feel less anxious not just at Karate but in all aspects of my life. The depression begins to lift and I slowly begin to cut back on the anti-depressants until by the middle of 2014 I’m off them completely. I’m sure anyone who was a member of the club when I joined will attest that I was very quiet for the first year I was there. I have absolutely no doubt that Karate played a huge role in my mental health improving.

It’s not been all smooth sailing for me at Zenshin Dojo as I can be hard work at times and I’ve certainly had my moments of self-doubt over the last four years, but the patience and understanding of the instructors at the club truly is second to none. That also applies to the other members of the club and if an instructor is busy then there are always other people more than willing to take time out from their own practice to help you.

As someone who has always prided myself on my athletic ability I feel like I’m back to the person I used to be and at the age of 39 I feel the best physically since my twenties. On a deeper level I will always be grateful for Karate and more specifically the supportive environment at Zenshin Dojo for helping me to overcome the worst of my mental health difficulties. I still have my bad days, but they are few and far between nowadays.

Oh and I no longer have to wear a t-shirt under my Gi!