I look at the number staring back at me in a state of
disbelief, the date is January 2nd 2013 and my bathroom scales are
telling me an uncomfortable truth. I’m sure many of you can relate to this
feeling after a few weeks of festive excess, but to me this runs deeper than a
few extra mince pies. In the preceding two years I’ve gone from an active,
slender, fit man to a slovenly, overweight shadow of my former self due to a litany
of health issues both physical and mental.
Time for another New Year weight loss initiative - like
2012’s ill-fated decision to join my local gym and pay for a year’s membership
upfront, only to give up going in February. I’ve always thought it would be
nice to learn a martial art and I loved the Jean-Claude Van Damme films of my
childhood, yes that settles it, my fandom of a Belgian movie star has made the
choice an easy one - martial arts it is. As for what martial art I decided upon
Karate simply because it was the only martial art that I had heard of other
than Judo.
Now that I had decided what I wanted to do the next step was
finding somewhere to do it. I remember googling ‘Karate beginners lessons
Bristol’ and looking through the top few results. Whilst reading through a few
of the websites something catches my attention immediately – a short paragraph stating that none of the instructors get paid
for teaching and volunteer their services for free. That, as I would come to
discover in the coming years defines what Zenshin Dojo is all about – people
helping people to better themselves simply because it’s
the right thing to do. It sounds idealistic, but in a world too frequently
dominated by selfish wants and needs it’s refreshing to come across a community
whose ethos is about learning and helping others.
I can still remember the nerves before attempting to attend
my first lesson. I say attempting because I never actually made it to my
planned first lesson. I had difficulty finding the venue and arrived ten
minutes late. This was followed by ten further minutes of sitting in my car
procrastinating about whether it was too late to turn up for the lesson before
driving home. At that stage of my life I was struggling terribly with anxiety
to the point that some days I couldn’t even leave the house, I remember driving
home convinced that my martial arts experience was over before it even began.
The next day I receive a short e-mail from the founder of the club Rob
enquiring as to why I had not attended the lesson. It’s a short message, but
there’s an inherent warmness to the tone which convinces me to give it another
go.
Sunday, January 20th 2013 my first ever Karate
lesson. It’s funny but I’ve attended hundreds of lessons since that first
lesson, but I can remember the details of that first lesson more than any
lesson I’ve attended since. To me the hardest part of learning Karate is the
first time you step into the dojo, it’s that fear of stepping into the unknown
particularly if you have no previous martial arts experience. As soon as I walk
through the door the instructor Phil greets me, he has a friendly warmth to him
that immediately puts me at ease. I’m introduced to the group and
Lorraine(another of the instructors) takes me away from the main group to teach
me Fudo Dachi(stance) and Gedan Barai(block). Throughout my first lesson I’m
made to feel welcome and that’s something that has stuck with me nearly four years
later - the way that new members are embraced and made to feel welcome.
To me one of my most vivid Karate memories is the first time
I put my Gi(uniform) on, though I wear a t-shirt underneath it due to my
embarrassment at my weight. There’s just something uniquely special about
putting that Gi on for the first time.
While I’m enjoying learning Karate, I’m also struggling
tremendously with my mental health. Along with anxiety I’ve also battled
depression and at the time I was taking some quite powerful anti-depressants,
which I’m sure contributed to my weight gain.
As the weeks and months pass not only do I lose some weight
which was my primary goal, but I also begin to feel less anxious not just at
Karate but in all aspects of my life. The depression begins to lift and I
slowly begin to cut back on the anti-depressants until by the middle of 2014
I’m off them completely. I’m sure anyone who was a member of the club when I
joined will attest that I was very quiet for the first year I was there. I have
absolutely no doubt that Karate played a huge role in my mental health
improving.
It’s not been all smooth sailing for me at Zenshin Dojo as I
can be hard work at times and I’ve certainly had my moments of self-doubt over
the last four years, but the patience and understanding of the instructors at
the club truly is second to none. That also applies to the other members of the
club and if an instructor is busy then there are always other people more than
willing to take time out from their own practice to help you.
As someone who has always prided myself on my athletic
ability I feel like I’m back to the person I used to be and at the age of 39 I
feel the best physically since my twenties. On a deeper level I will always be grateful
for Karate and more specifically the supportive environment at Zenshin Dojo for
helping me to overcome the worst of my mental health difficulties. I still have
my bad days, but they are few and far between nowadays.
Oh and I no longer have to wear a t-shirt under my Gi!
