I feel ready for the assessment, if anything I’ve taken my preparation too seriously. By nature I have quite an obsessive side to my personality and this has certainly come out in the two months leading up to my assessment. I’ve kept written logs of what lessons I’ve attended and what I’ve done in those lessons. I‘ve attended a few Blue Belt assessments before, but as anyone who has done an assessment will tell you it’s completely different when it’s your own assessment.
When it comes to doing any type of physical activity despite any nerves that I might feel I’ve always been extremely confident in my abilities. I may be terrified, but in all honesty I don’t envisage any scenario in which I don’t pass my assessment first time. Looking back now I cringe a bit at my thought process approaching that first assessment. I may have put all the hard work in physically, but as Rob has told me on a few occasions there is a lot more to Karate than just the physical. Physically I was prepared, but mentally it was a whole other story.
When the assessment starts I feel like I’m performing well and everything is going according to plan. As the assessment progresses my confidence is growing and the nerves are long gone. When it’s time for the Sanbon Kumite I can’t help but think about the Blue Belt assessment two weeks previously. After failing to pick up on Rob’s initial first attack I got punched in the face for my troubles. The nerves are now back in full force and when I get a stitch while working with Lisa, I for lack of a better term completely lose my head.
I know people have overcome far worse things than a stitch during assessments, but unfortunately my reaction to this isn’t good. I become increasingly frustrated at not being able to perform at 100%. I’m getting hit far too many times for my liking and with each hit the red mist descends a little further. I’m being countered on my third attack while I’m over reaching and off balance which is resulting in me literally stumbling seven or eight feet across the hall. I know it’s going badly, but I don’t seem to have the ability to turn it round. The Sanbon Kumite seems to go on forever and I remember thinking to myself at the time that I just want this to stop so I can get the heck home.
When it’s over I’m pretty upset as I know the Sanbon Kumite was a complete disaster. I remember various people such as Toni, Chris, Justin and Lisa trying to console me, but unfortunately it doesn’t make me feel any better. I know there’s no way that my performance during the Sanbon Kumite was good enough to meet the requirements of a Blue Belt. In fact the first thing I do when I get home is email Rob saying that I know I’ve failed the assessment and that I need to re-do it as soon as humanly possible.
After getting my feedback from Sarah and Dave there’s a general consensus that my issue is more a mental one than a physical one. It’s something that has been an issue in my time at the club – getting frustrated when things don’t go well. I take Rob’s advice about meditation, something that I used to practice regularly and book myself onto a meditation workshop (I do listen to you occasionally Rob!). I know that I need to get my mind-set right before re-doing my assessment as it wasn’t where it needed to be the first time.
Over the next few weeks I work a lot with Dave Pope on my Sanbon Kumite and the importance of staying calm, focussed and not getting frustrated when I get hit. On the Tuesday before my second assessment Dave gives me probably the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me at the club. He tells me that he wants to see “Yoga Keith” at the assessment on Saturday. I know exactly what he means by this; the more I think about it the more I realise that I’m a very different person at Yoga to what I am at Karate. I think it’s a combination of adrenaline and the fact that Karate isn’t something that comes naturally to me. This results in my becoming frustrated when I struggle with certain aspects of Karate.
When I arrive at the dojo I’m surprised at how calm I am. I’m a little nervous, but it’s night and day from last time. When it comes to the Sanbon Kumite section I’m feeling relaxed and confident. I remember thinking ‘Yoga Keith’ right before I start the Kumite with Toni. I’m feeling a little tired when, after Nick, I have to work with Pete. I’m struggling with Pete due to his technique and the fact he is so ridiculously fast. He hits me a few times, but I resist the urge to try and hit him back. At the end I’m not sure if I’ve done enough to pass. I know that I’ve done much better than the first time, but that’s a pretty low bar to clear.I’m told that I’ll find out the result at my next lesson which will be on Tuesday. When I arrive at the lesson I’m feeling more nervous than I was for either of my assessments. When Rob tells me to come and get my Blue Belt my initial feeling is one of overwhelming relief, soon followed by sheer joy. The fact Donna and Simon also passed really was the cherry on the cake as the three of us have spent so much time practicing and helping one another over the last three months.
Looking back on the whole process a few weeks later one thought really springs to mind. When you reach the higher grades you really do need to be a well-rounded practitioner. Previously I knew my temperament and focus weren’t the best, but I always believed that my physical abilities could make up for any mental shortcomings. The assessments showed me that if you have neglected any one area of your Karate you will be found out.
I remember a few weeks back Dave saying to me that it could work out for the best that I didn’t pass first time as it would force me to address certain issues I had with my Karate. I do believe this to be the case as I know in the last 18 months or so I had allowed a certain level of arrogance to creep into my Karate. The fact that I didn’t pass first time has humbled me a bit and made me look at certain things I was doing in more detail. I don’t think I would have had this level of self-reflection had I passed first time.
My advice for anyone doing an assessment in the future would be to not get themselves into the state I was in before my first assessment. I know it’s easier said than done, but it really does make a huge difference if you’re calm and relaxed. Also if you don’t pass first time it’s not the end of the world, as Rob said to me I wasn’t the first person this has happened to and I won’t be the last.
In saying all that though I really do hope I pass my next assessment first time!
