2016 is an important milestone year for me and I’ve come into it feeling unexpectedly nostalgic. This summer will mark 15 years since walking into St John’s Church hall, Keynsham, for myfirst of many Thursday night practices and 10 years since achieving junior black belt at our equally feared and loved annual weekend away at Lancaster University. So, for all of these reasons I felt it an apt time to write a piece for the newsletter.
I’ve been thinking about how my practice has changed over the years and how I’ve placed emphasis and importance on different aspects of my practice at different times. As a junior/ kyu grade technique was often the main focus of my practice. I felt I needed to have good form, posture, hand position etc. within kata and kihon, which was accelerated by having such a good technical instructor like Kate. Learning sequences and patterns was something I could do fairly quickly but a difficulty in practice came later on towards green/blue belt when I needed to start filling up my practice with energy, presence and imagination. Having a good foundation of technical skills and shapes I now shifted my focus to the development of ‘mind and spirit’. This is where Rob’s teaching and practice approach complimented Kate’s style. I remember fondly (and not so fondly!) many practices of being taken completely out of my comfort zone; screamed at, ran at with and without weapons, kicked, punched and grabbed. At the same time, however, I was given a great deal of time, effort and wealth of knowledge and experience. By the time I was a brown belt I had started to gain a quiet confidence in my ability to ‘hold my own’ and it was so valuable having peers at the same level to support and push each other forward. I could now look at Rob in the eye when he was imitating a raging, violent and verbally abusive attacker without crumbling inside or curling up into a ball to cry on the floor. Confidence is such a powerful feeling but there was never time to get too complacent because it wouldn’t be long before the bar was raised and there was another obstacle to overcome. (I’d like to mention at this point that I may be painting Rob out to be some kind of aggressive, child-beating instructor, but clearly that isn’t the case!)
Achieving my junior black belt was a memory that hasn’t faded over time. However, I held an instinctual feeling that I hadn’t come to the end of something, or gained something that made me special and untouchable, but that I was just at the beginning of my understanding of the martial arts. It was almost like the preceding five years had been the starter of a meal and now I was moving onto the main course. Amid the feelings of joy and celebration there was an undertone of seriousness and uncertainty as to whether I would actually be good enough to progress any further. 
Another recent development to my practice has been taking on a teaching role at my new ladies-only class in Newcastle. I have done very small amounts of teaching in the past so to go from that to teaching a weekly session has been a huge step forward. I am not naturally confident in my abilities so I often think: ‘I’m not good enough to teach’, but I have to remember my 15 years’ worth of experience and try to replicate some of the qualities my teachers have. We have gained a few new faces, who are all enthusiastic, and I am already experiencing the pleasures of
being a teacher when somebody manages to do their first gedan barai or mae geri unassisted! I have always been told the benefits of teaching and look forward to seeing how this influences my practice and also develops me personally.
For me, karate and martial arts have been an integral part of my life since I was a child and are embedded so deep that it makes up part of my identity. I cannot separate myself as a normal, everyday person and as a martial artist; they are one and the same. The skills and attitudes I have learned and practiced extend beyond the dojo and I believe I am a better person for this. I think it is becoming rare for people to want to invest so many years of their lives in the study of martial arts as we are now a society that expects information in an instant and not being prepared to wait for it. However, I have been lucky to meet so many excellent and truly gifted martial artists who have committed to the longevity of the journey. These people have been prepared to guide people and share their experiences for which I am very grateful. I still feel like a beginner at times and actually, I hope to still feel that way for many years to come. I’m not one to naturally give advice but – if pressed – I would say: keep seeking to understand, keep committing to a better you and, most of all, keep practicing.
